Kerna hati ini telah dilukai

In hopes that you would think of me.

i want an iphone. i dont care if it's 3G or 3Gs.

i want more money. well, not really.

i want to study. again, not really.

i want to work? wait, i have to work :'(

i dont want to work.

i want to watch Time Traveler's Wife.

i need to stop burning my own lungs.

i want to feel loved everyday. why is that so hard?

i need a vacation.

i guess i may need more money.

i like that people change from blogs to tumblr :)

all i want is you, yeah yeah yeahs you.

the person who gives me the thrills and chills and make me squeak in the middle of the night.

HAHA.

* * *

the truth is not always been pleasant to hear, and sometimes could be extremely excruciating. how i hate that fact. sometimes we expect far too much of the people around us, and because no one can ever live up to those expectations, we are almost always disappointed.

So this talking behind people's back is really getting old. grow up lah please? if you're not happy with me or my friends, then say something. don't be such a pussy and spread it to the people around you. some people can be so immature no matter how 'smart' they are. be wise bitch, not cocky. ugh, how i hate dramas. but i do love being a girl. just, not that part. sheesh.

* * *

I'm dyingggggggg. i cant wait for my last paper to end. i cant wait for the weekends! i cant wait to finish studying! i hate studying, as you can tell already. i want to go on a holiday, with my love ones and get myself a lover. i'm tooo depressed haha, okay, i know, irrelevent.

Seriously, close your eyes, center yourself, take a deep breathe and imagine. vacation-ing over at Kuta, Bali. the beach, the shore, the waves, the shopping, the foooood, the historic places, the foood, and the people.

so far, here are my plans for the weekend.

13/11/09

-Literature Paper 2.

-Hopefully meeting A :)

-Hazwan's Classmate's B'day soirée over at Fridays.

-The Library.

14/11/09

-KBU Breast Cancer Carnival fund raising thingy.

-cupcakes.

-Fly Anniversary at OU, for SPEAK.

-Hopefully meeting A :)

15/11/09

-work :'(

-Cats Whiskers.

ttfn, K.

Terdiamku Buat Seketika.

yes, i know i haven't been online for ages now.

no, it's not because that i'm going through my AS exam now.

no, it's because i finally have a life to go on now.

yes, it's because the internet at home is down.

here are some of the pictures taken during the AAR concert.

it's Halloween you ghouls.

at least i didn't dressed up as a trampy witch.

meet my new friends Andrew and Isabel ;)

awwh.

i am not THAT short people. pfffft.

meet the Photographer, Suemitraa.

it was a tiring day i tell you. i reached home around 3-4am. but it was awesome and i am happy :D

ttfn K.

It is said that the darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn.

*I want him so bad.

*I've already decided I want him. It doesn't matter how much he hurts me or rejects me. I want him.

Halloween was awesome. AAR was awesome. Everything else was fine indeed.
Pure Maths paper 2 sucks, badly. Being at home all alone was boring.
And yet, now, I have a new reason to smile. Every minute.

*Every time I see you, you look over and smile at me I can't help but smile back. Every time I see you and your face is close to mine I just want to kiss you. I wish you would feel the same way as I do.

*Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.

*You are the smell before the rain. You are the blood in my veins.

To my not-so-special-k-no-more, take care. The both of you. I'll relentlessly get out of your way. Get wild, be happy. There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.

To 5, no, you can't tell that I'll smile and giggle everytime you're around. By means, whenever I received your texts and comments. Everything still remains the same. I'll hope for none.

To someone new, as in A. You deserve the stars above. I mean, literally :D

Don’t worry about the people in the past. There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future.

but, someone did.
came back.
well, he didn't literally came back. I mean, his presence, he is somehow, always there.
for me.

you wrote something on my wall today that got me thinking.
well again, you wrote about something indifferent lah, but you somehow it shows that you still cared.

I thought you hated me. In a way. I never told you about it.
I was even scared to open of such topic. the thing is, you're always there.
I'm not surprise if you're reading this.

I've always loved you. I love being with you. Spending time with you. I love talking to you. everything started to make sense and the way you are to me, so softly, you'd give me logical answers that I couldn't think of.
then you would tell me about your point of views on things, about your friends, family and your hopes & dreams and how crappy it sounds :p

now you've made me missed you. more than I used to.
it's been ages since the last time I've met you.
I still kept the song that you sang to me, in my phone.

* * *

When we first met, I didn’t want to get involved with anyone actually. I didn’t have the time or the energy, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. But you were so good to me, and little by little, I found myself liking you.
i know what i did. i hated myself for what have become of us.
having the thought of you hating me for life, was much worse.
honestly, the guilt is still inside me.


There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how.

ttfn 5,
K.

You are a drop of perfect in an imperfect world. And all I need, is a taste.

30th DEC 2009

I wore my fav hippie-tee, Topshop denim shorts, new belt and Charles&Keith Handbag.

Had lunch at Delicious, Midvalley

bowled.

danced.

right now, happily exhausted.

as much as i love bowling now, i do suck.

so i've decided on what sort of a tattoo design that i'd like (:

Know I’ll always love you, but right now I just don’t like you.

I died inside when you didn’t come running to my door. I should have done more. So now that I know that it was all fake, I guess it’s the end of the line. Still, I’ll be just fine, fine enough to start a life with someone better than you; it’s fool proof. So tear me up and throw me out. Don’t be afraid to toss my heart about the strands of your hair. But just remember, I always did care.

about my previous post, well. heck, just forget about it.
I'm glad that as fragile as i am,
as you've disappeared, it doesn't give much of an impact towards me.
thank god for that. you take care now K, get wild and be free. Ciao Bella.



p.s : I'm having too much fun now. My right arm hurts like hell. This is all because of
too much of bowling and the stupid dancing arcade game. Thanks Najihah, for introducing me
to that game. sigh!

Forget the air. I'll breathe you instead.

Dear K ,


It seems that you clearly have no idea what is on my mind. You've got it all wrong.
I'm letting you go, not because that I suddenly have stopped loving you. But to see if you love me enough to come back. All I need was some gratitude. Perhaps a feedback from you. It felt like, I was the only one who was ecstatic about 'us'.
Clearly I see it was easy for you to do so. Which, to my surprised, as I was trembling inside and out that night.

It's kind of ironic the day I had enough courage to tell you to get out of my life. And I still love you.

You should know that I can’t let go of you. Cause that would mean letting go of all the memories as well. I love those memories of ours.


You've made me think things that I shouldn't have.

I hate the way you talk to me lately, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your new specs and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t text or call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close not even a little bit. not even at all.

*You hurt me so much when I learned that the only reason you apparently decided to care about me was in the hopes that I would sleep with you.

**********************************

I'm scared to ask you what I was to you, even though you've asked me more then once. I'm scared of what you'll say, because it could it could either make me fall more in love with you or break me completely.

Not seeing you gives me hell.

As for now, I can look anywhere in the world but at you. And it hurts to look anywhere in the world but at you. I'd be lying if I say that I'm not hoping for anything. I'll be waiting.

831, forever and always,
K.

I'm calling your name and no one's there.

Diamonds in your shy set of eyes.

10 days of salvation. hurrah!
no wonder i am in need to get myself a lover. HAHA!